Defiant

I never defied the rules that were given to me as a kid, until I learned that maybe, just maybe there was another truth out there.  The fact of the matter is everyone is entitled to their own truth, their own version of right and wrong. That does not mean it is the ONLY truth, it is the ONLY way to live and you HAVE to follow their truth; their rules.

When I was 16 I was accidently introduced to the man who changed my way of thinking, who gave me leniency, who told me to bend the rules as long as I (as a person) don’t break.  This man would be my cardiologist for the next 10 years.  He would see me graduate high school, graduate college, we almost shared a birthday, and we shared an unimaginable loss.  He showed me that it’s ok to test the limits, because they are mine.  Every child with CHD is given a set of rules that are not meant to be broken but what if they weren’t the only rules in the rule book? What if there was a clause, an escape goat, a way to bend the rules without breaking them?

Well there is….write in your own. Scribble some out, add some new ones, but you can’t throw away the rule book.

Soon enough I will be starting a new chapter in my rule book, the “how to be happy, how to relax, and how to be fulfilled in life” chapter.  I’m not unhappy, but I never really relax and most days I feel like I’m just going through motions.  This chapter will hopefully include a change of scenery in my professional life, and a much better outlook in my personal life; and maybe, just maybe some relaxation to follow.

“I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game.”
– Defying Gravity Wicked the Musical

Live, Laugh, Love……Always,
Nicole

 

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